I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
