also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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