So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
