Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
