I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
