In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
