and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
