im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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