The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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