OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
