Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
