I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
