i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
