just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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