Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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