I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
