just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
