i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
