Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
