Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
