Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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