You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
