Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
