He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
