Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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