he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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