He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
