So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
