You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
