We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
bring money and cleavage
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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