she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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