but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
