it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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