drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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