tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
