Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize