Non-Jews are for practice
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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