How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
