Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
