ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize