I'm gonna have a badass scar
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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