I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
