seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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