Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
