dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
