I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
