dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
