Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
