he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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