she looked like the bat from fern gully.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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