you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
