why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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