My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
handjob tips. give me some.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
