Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there was a trapeze. enough said
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
