it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
