I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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