the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
