I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
