Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
