sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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