A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
