3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
