so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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