I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Randomize
