we're blogging at a bar
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
