did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
In America we eat man semen.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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