I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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