on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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