I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
