8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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