Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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