so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
