New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
