whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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